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In this hilarious and ultimately moving memoir, comedians and real-life
married couple Annabelle Gurwitch and Jeff Kahn prove that in marriage, all you
need is love—and a healthy dose of complaining, codependence, and pinot noir.
After thirteen years of being married, Annabelle and Jeff have found “We’re
just not that into us.” Instead of giving up, they’ve held their relationship
together by ignoring conventional wisdom and fostering a lack of intimacy, by
using parenting as a competitive sport, and by dropping out of couples therapy.
The he-said/she-said chronicle of their intense but loving marriage includes an
unsentimental account of the medical odyssey that their family embarked upon
after their infant son was diagnosed with VACTERL, a very rare series of birth
defects. Annabelle and Jeff’s unforgivingly raw, uproariously funny story is
sure to strike both laughter and terror in the hearts of all couples (not to
mention every single man or woman who is contemplating the connubial state).
Serving up equal parts sincerity and cynicism, You Say Tomato, I Say Shut Up
is a laugh-out-loud must-read for everyone who has come to realize that being
“in love” can only get you so far.
He says: “Within days of Annabelle’s arrival, I became very aware that she
demanded solitude and had the housekeeping habits of a feral animal.”
She says: “The guy had some sort of nudity radar. When I would take my clothes
off for even a second, Jeff would be in front of me cheering as if he’d scored
box seats at Fenway Park.”
He says: “I want to have sex every day, but Annabelle only wants to do it
once a week. So we compromise: we have sex once a week.”
She says: “Jeff says talking about money before you have sex is a turnoff, but
it’s only a turnoff if you’re talking about not having money. Talking about
money before you have sex when you have money is actually a turn-on .”
He says: “For God’s sake, all I wanted to do was have sex without a condom
for a little while; now we were moments from bringing a new life into the
She says: “My ass was expanding so fast it was like a Starbucks franchise. On
every corner of my ass there was a new branch of ass opening up.”
From the Hardcover edition.